Missing a Crush

By: Isabelle Morgan

They don’t use a signal

Shit never calls

To let you know it’s coming 

Even the signal patrol

Turns without a warning

Sense hasn’t been making

Sensitivity has unbecome me

Sidewalks are torn up 

I get scared before walking

And my soul hasn’t been crushing

A weird state of choosing to turn

Without knowing where you’ll be parking

Without deciding where you’ve arrived

But

It just hasn’t been clicking

I keep forgetting 

To stop remembering

What my memory has been missing

Where my wishes have been sitting

Why my skin has been waiting

Wait is the longest word

Weight is a disgusting verb

Which it’s actually a noun

That measures your worth

Or at least controlled mine for years

Now I wait for weight to remember 

How to forget 

Numbering confessions could work

I’ll start

And you go second

Releasing will lighten something

A chest could unfold 

So

I’m crossing my fingers and toes

Bent knees, calf on shin, ankle contortions

Twisting my bones

Squeezed eyes and squinted nose

I’m focusing my hopes

I’m dreaming on a boat

Where our crooked hands interlace

And we braid together our creased lives

The crinkles help us float

But then my minute passes

And fantasies fucking sink the fastest